Hey all you Radius partners out there,

Just wanted to post a follow up blog to yesterday's sermon so everyone has the facts.  The former ACE Hardware building is going to be auctioned off on September 2nd, which is a very short window.  We have spent the last week seeking preapproval for loan financing and working hard to schedule some due diligence activities pre-auction, such as asbestos audits, surveys, appraisals, structural/zoning reviews, etc., etc.  As these processes move forward, we are also seeking to raise some capital funds to put us in a better position at auction.  In today's environment, a very significant down payment is required to finance any piece of property and therefore we need additional capital to make us competitive at auction.  Based on our best estimates of the building's potential selling price, we need an additional $110,000 of capital to add to our existing cash reserves in order to bid competitively for the building. 

Of course, this is just an estimate.  The actual amount needed may be either north or south of this number, as we are dealing with a live auction on a commercial piece of real estate that has been on the market for the last 2 tumultuous years.  Therefore, no one will really know what it's worth until it sells.  We, of course, have a ceiling price that we will not exceed on the property, which is based on appraised value, our financial position and our core value of extravagant generosity.  We would love to share more financial information with you, but the reality is that in an auction scenario we have to keep our cards close to our chest and not let any information about our bid threshholds leak out, as that would be very harmful to us.  Our elders have discussed all of this and we have sought good outside counsel as well, so we feel very comfortable with our decisions in this realm.

As for making capital contributions, we ask that all of you consider doing whatever you can to help us raise this capital over the next 18 days.  We will provide envelopes for this purpose the next two weeks and you can also mail in contributions and simply note on the memo section of the check "ACE Auction" and we will designate it for that purpose.  Our intention is to gather these capital funds and simply escrow them until we go to auction on September 18th.  If we are successful and win the auction, we will invest all of this capital and then some more moving forward in making this empty warehouse our home for the next few decades.  If we are not successful and someone else acquires the building at auction, it is our intention to refund to everyone their capital investments designated for the ACE building.  It is an awkward situation, as we need the capital up front to go to the auction, as you have to close within 28 days, but we might not win it and in that case we don't want anyone feeling like we pulled a bait and switch with their capital designated gifts.  It is perhaps the first and only time you will get a money back guarantee at church!!!

Finally, now that you know all the facts, we simply ask you to pray.  We would love to have this property, but we are not and will not be defined by it.  It would be an awesome tool for us and it would propel us forward in this community as a whole, but it is not indespensible to God's Kingdom or to Radius Church.  So we will pursue it with zeal and energy, but let's not get out of balance.  Our business is the business of souls, not buildings.  Buildings are nice tools but are not absolute requirements in the pursuit of Kingdom initiatives, as evidenced by the current existence of Radius Church.  So here is what we must do.  We must follow in the footsteps of the persistent widow in the days to come, continually talking to our God about this opportunity and asking Him to provide it for us, but to provide it in such a way that we would all realize that He is ultimately the one that accomplished the task.  I don't know what that looks like, but I want it to be clear.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to talk to any of our elders about this scenario.  They are Jerry Dominic, Chris Seeby, Lin Keesey, Brian Kirklan, Salim Khalil, and Jeremiah Jones.  This is going to be yet another roller coaster ride for us as a church as there area lot of variables in the equation, but I hope and pray that we never become the church that longs to sit on a shaded bench instead of riding the 'Scream Machine' one more time!

The renowned author, Anne Rice, has recently written the following:

"For those who care, and I understand if you don't: Today I quit being a Christian. I'm out. I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being "Christian" or to being part of Christianity. It's simply impossible for me to "belong" to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten ...years, I've tried. I've failed. I'm an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.   As I said, I quit being a Christian. I'm out. In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life.  In the name of ...Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian. Amen."

Sounds devastating, right.  Well, read on as she explains her comments above . . . 

"My faith in Christ is central to my life.  My conversion from a pessimistic atheist lost in a world I didn't understand, to an optimistic believer in a universe created and sustained by a loving God is crucial to me.  But following Christ does not mean following His followers.  Christ is infinitely more important than Christianity and always will be, no matter what Christianity is, has been, or might become." 

Hey Anne, I just want you to know that I hear what you are saying.  I think it is easy to get frustrated with Christianity, as there are so many voices out there claiming to speak on behalf of Christianity.  That's the problem.  Joel Osteen seems to speak for Christianity in our day, so does TD Jakes, and Rick Warren and Jeremiah Wright and then there are the guys yelling vociferously at the gay parades and Islamic festivals and on and on it goes.  But who really has the right to speak for Christianity . . . that is the burning question.  I think only Jesus and his apostles have that right, and they have spoken already in our New Testament.  So if you want to quit Christianity, go ahead and quit it, just hold on to Jesus and his teachings and call it what you like.

What do you think?

Below is a guest blog by John Reeves (pictured here with his wife Cheryl), founding Pastor of Radius Lexington and Radius Greenville.  He is pursuing another plant in the upstate now and here is some info about it and a way for you to help.

What in the world are the Reeves doing? Better yet, where in the world are the Reeves?

We’ve spent the last year working with a very large, church-planting church in Austin, TX (Hill Country Bible Church). It was an incredible year of learning for both me and my family. By spring, however, we were sure that God wanted us back in South Carolina, applying the life lessons learned and using the church planting training to start another church and assist in multiple other church plants. So we turned our eyes back to South Carolina and knew God wanted us to return, but exactly where in SC was not so clear. We came back thinking that God may be directing us to Lexington/Columbia area. We went there and spent time in prayer with a lot of our friends, the elders of Radius - Lexington, and with leaders of other churches. Through this process of prayer and asking questions, God took us on a journey that has led us to settle down once again in the upstate.

The journey we took to get to that conclusion has been really good for us. To begin with, just coming to SC this summer without our house in Texas selling brought out the best in many others, as friends loaned us houses in which to live, provided food for us and loaned us cars, etc. Their generosity was refreshing. During this time in Lexington, my assessment was that Radius-Lexington just needs to continue to grow and reach people, as it has doubled in the last couple of years and it has the leadership strength to continue growing in a healthy way. It also has its sights set on planting a new Radius church in the next 12-24 months, probably in Columbia. So Radius-Lexington is doing great and can use my gifts on occasion, but I could better fulfill our statewide vision by planting elsewhere. Once we were sure of this, we turned our eyes again to the upstate and began asking God where He wanted us to plant there. As a matter of fact, we are still asking that question, but we know it is in the vicinity of our former hometown, Powdersville, so we felt great peace and freedom to move back there and put our kids back in their former schools. The best part of this decision was watching our kids react with great joy, including many tears of joy for Moriah. The worst part was knowing that we’ll have less time with great friends in the Lexington/Columbia area, but we have to follow the vision wherever it takes us.

What is the vision for South Carolina? Out of six church plants we have started, three were planted in SC; two of those were planted in the last seven years and they are both healthy and growing (Radius-Lexington and Radius-Greenville). The dream is just now beginning to take shape. Radius-Lexington is getting close to planting for the first time without me and I am planning on planting a new Radius in the upstate, which will take us from two Radius churches to four in just a few years. If we can maintain that pace we can have 8 or more Radius churches within 5-7 years. But it’s not just about Radius. I’ll help two other local churches train their church planters and over time we hope to plant many new churches of all different stripes in our state. Some crazy stats have come in recent years stating that cities like Greenville are only 18% churched, which projects a much smaller number of Christ-followers than most realize.

What can you do to help? This is my first real fundraising letter. In spite of my inability to ask for finances, God has blessed our church planting and disciple-making ministry incredibly over the past 15 years. We have had the privilege of investing in many people and six churches. During that time, God has always provided our income through random jobs, generous friends and churches, and the new churches we’ve planted. But now we are moving back to SC with an even bigger vision for the state. I learned so much during my year of training and serving in Texas and that has renewed my energy and passion to plant churches throughout the state. In order to build on what we have and move forward, though, we’ll need financial investment. We need to raise support for my salary and for the start up costs involved in planting this newest church in the upstate. Radius-Lexington and Radius-Greenville have pledged their financial help in this venture, but I would like you to consider partnering with us as well, as the need is great.

My dream is to raise $150,000 for this vision. That will cover my salary for two years plus many of the start up costs for the new Radius plant. If you would like to partner with us, you can either make a one-time donation or you can become a monthly partner for the next 24 months. Information on how to do that is below. Thanks for considering this opportunity with us and pray for our success in impacting this great state for our great King.


Make checks payable to ‘Radius Church’ and send them to: PO Box 51423 Piedmont, SC 29673.

All donations are tax deductible

Please call me if you would like to discuss this further or want any more information, I would love to get with you.
John Reeves
803.767.0687
john@radiuschurch.org



If you are a parent, you desperately need to take 2 minutes and read this latest blog post by Breakpoint (link below in green).  It will describe how we are literally dumbing down our kids with 24/7 media (computers, TV, ipads, blackberrys, etc.).  It will be well worth your time and it will probably cause you to make some adjustments in your home, for it is never too late to teach the next generation to think . . .

Breakpoint Blog Link - The Courage to be Bored

I was recently talking with a friend about a relationship he was in and he asked me a very legitimate question - "Why doesn't the Bible allow for sex within committed relationships like the one I am in with my girlfriend?"  I had never really pondered this before, but God gave me the answer right away and I wanted to share it with you.  The reason the Bible doesn't allow it is because his idea of commitment and the marital idea of commitment are two totally different things.

When an unmarried couple is in a 'committed relationship', what they mean by that is they are committed to dating only one another.  This type of commitment is honorable and necessary at a certain point in a relationship, but it is simply a commitment not to date and shop around and stay in this relationship as long as this relationship is healthy, enjoyable and beneficial.  Marital commitment, however, is something entirely different.  It includes this baseline commitment not to date or pursue others, but it is so much richer than that.  Marital commitment is a commitment to stay in this exclusive relationship till death, regardless of how joyful or beneficial it is to me personally.  For example, a couple in a 'committed relationship' could have a very rough year together, have lots of arguments, and at the end of that year one of them could become clinically depressed and withdraw from all intimate relationships.  Will the other partner stay committed to this relationship where he or she is getting very little to nothing out of it but having to pour out each and every day?  Would he look to his partner's parents to step in and handle this situation because it was simply too much and obviously their relationship was not going to work out with the other party in this state?  Would society expect any more than that of him?  The simple answer is no and that is what happens in a so-called committed relationship.  In reality, each party is committed to the relationship as long as it is beneficial to them and moving forward, but if it 'no longer works' for any number of reasons (health, geographical change, change in disposition or religion, etc., etc.), they feel free to politely excuse themselves from the relationship based on the fact that it no longer works, meaning it no longer works for them.   Besides, it wasn't like they were married or anything like that!

On the other hand, if you take the scenario above and impose it on a marriage, the expectations and often the outcome are dramatically different.  If my wife and I have a very bad year and then she becomes clinically depressed for 6 months and can give little to nothing to our relationship, my marital commitment doesn't wane, but rather it becomes a source of strength and reminds me that I am in this for life.  This depression would not be an issue for my wife's parents and friends to handle, it would be mine to handle.  I made a commitment, not to a relationship beneficial for me, but I made a commitment to a relationship for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.  That is a different kind of commitment that requires me to look out for my wife's best interest no matter what benefit I might gain.  And the beautiful part is that the opposite of this is true as well.  She has that same commitment to me so that if I ever reach a spot where I can't contribute to the relationship, she will stay with me even though it is no longer easy or even joyful for her.  Her commitment to me is stronger and more important to her than her commitment to her own happiness.  That is marital commitment and it is the perfect environment in which two people can build previously unknown levels of happiness, joy, intimacy, and security.  These attributes actually grow out of the safety of the marital commitment and they can't be nourished without that type of lifelong commitment.  God set it up that way. 

So for all of you out there in 'committed relationships', I am in no way demeaning what you are currently doing.  In fact, I think it is a good and honorable thing to be in a committed relationship.  However, committed relationship does not equal marriage.  The levels of commitment are radically different and that is why the Bible commands you to refrain from life's most intimate act, sex, until you are ready for a lifelong commitment to marriage.  And to all of you married readers out there, remember that you are not married to seek your own happiness, but rather for the joy and happiness of your spouse.  If you prioritize that, you will see that your greatest joy will come as you look out for the interests of your spouse, as it is always more blessed to give than to receive.

Just casually perusing the news today on this glorious holiday and noticed that the current AD at the University of Georgia just sacrificed his name, reputation, probably his family and a whole lot of other things for a fling with another lady.  This cost him his $600,000 annual salary, his career and the pain and shame his family will now experience is beyond description.  Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, a lady in Iran has been found guilty of the same sin of adultery, but she is scheduled to pay with her very life.  She is due to be stoned to death at any time, so she is losing a lot more than just a promising career.  Amnesty International is working feverishly to overturn this imminent act of brutality in Iran, but only time will tell whether or not they are successful.  

As I read about these two people and thought of the radically different punishments being levied against each, I was more sad than anything else.  Here is this man in Georgia who will face no retribution from the state, but he has just dropped a 500 pound shrapnel bomb into this own living room by his boyish behavior and his wife and children will walk away with gaping burn wounds.  Forgiveness and restoration are possible, but scars will remain.  On the other side of our planet, I think the stoning of this lady is an act of barbary that should be condemned regardless of her guilt or innocence.  Her guilt is questionable, as no man is being stoned for this act of adultery and last time I checked it did take two to tango!  But in these repressive Islamic scenarios women are generally scapegoated, beaten down, abused and discriminated against.  That sounds harsh, doesn't it?  The truth is often harsh.  Don't let anyone fool you, wearing the hijab and/or the burka brings no protection from the sexual advances of wicked men in these societies. 

This just reminds me of why we have to address the issue of sex so much in the church.  I never want to be that church which always addresses sexual issues for the 'buzz value' or just to be 'edgy' for the sake of being edgy.  However, there just isn't any way to escape the fact that sex is a huge force in everyone's life and it often gets 'out of bounds' and brings more pain and destruction than anything else in life.  That is why it is so often addressed in the New Testament . . . in the majority of the books.  And the way we are told to defeat it is simply to stay away from it.  Our sexual desire is a beast and if you feed it long enough, it will break out of its given place and cause you to do the unthinkable.  The verses I think of off the top of my head are the following: "flee sexual immorality", "give no opportunity to your flesh (sinful desires)", "let there not be a hint of sexual immorality among you", "put sexual immorality to death in your body", etc., etc. They are all verses of action and force, as this battle for sexual purity is not for the weak or the wimpy. 

Today I pray for the reconciliation of this family in Georgia and I pray for an international uprising to save the life of this dear lady in Iran.

I just read this great article about how Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple, has denied access to all pornographic and adult oriented apps for iphone/ipad and itunes, deleting about 5,000 current apps . . . . How cool is that?  In this latest article, which you can read here, he said he wanted Apple to provide 'freedom from porn.'  Will this cost him on the bottom line . . . sure it will.  Doing the right thing always costs us money, that is why so few do it.  So Steve, I applaud your effort.  When a critic took him to task about this 'censorship' policy, he simply told the guy that he would probably feel different if he had children.  Great answer!  And if you don't like this censorship, Steve simply advises you not to use Apple products, as there are plenty of other mediums for pornography. 

I just bought a Macbook and this news makes me want to buy an iphone.  And here is an idea - why doesn't someone create a new web browser that automatically filters all pornography.  A free browser like Firefox that is an automatic porn filter.  Do you think you could sell that idea to families with kids in the house, and then do you think advertisers would beat your doors down to get access to those millions of families?  I am glad to see a man of power and influence in the cyber realm show some moral fiber.

Coburn Family from Josh Sliffe on Vimeo.

Recently at Refuel, our weekly student ministry gathering, we asked our students to give us some feedback on our dads.  We asked them to write down for us good memories they have of their dads and things they appreciate about their dads . . . if you will simply read this list of this actual feedback, I guarantee that it will make you a better dad.

Good Memories of dad:

The times we spent together on all my school field trips and church camps. Going to the park. Going to the movies. Going to the beach together. Practicing Basketball together. Daddy/Daughter dances. Taking me to Clemson games! Sitting on Daddy’s lap. When Dad saved my life when I was drowning. Dad bought me a turtle. When he took me to the Bahamas. When he would take me to the fair. When he would take me to the beach. Coaching my softball team. Watching wrestling together. Dad carrying me on his shoulders everywhere! When we go out and spend quality time together. Working together in the backyard to improve my sports skills. Staying up really late watching ESPN together. When he took me on my first roller coaster. Daddy/Daughter dates to bfast and the movies. Jumping the waves @ Myrtle Beach. Being at my baseball games. Going to Carolina football games together. Riding the four-wheeler. Going to the pool together. Disney World together. Laughing together at our family. Boy’s night out. Taking me to a MUSE concert. Shopping together when Mom was too busy. When Dad baptized me. Taking me bass fishing.

Things I appreciate about my dad:

The fact that he has always and still does go with us on vacation. He is very nice to me. He takes me where I need to go. He spends his free time with me. His unconditional love for his family. He is always there for me. He would never leave me. He would always tell me how proud he was of me. He protects me. He doesn’t mind spending money on me. He supports my ambitions. He helps me with schoolwork. He gives me more dessert than I deserve. He looks out for my needs. He makes me feel better when I am hurting. He makes sure to spend time with the family. He is patient about living with three girls. He makes breakfast in the morning when I ask him to. He is always thinking of others. His effort within our family. His faithful dedication to Jesus. His leadership. He always encourages me. He disciplined me when I was wrong. He always set a good example. He always made time for me even when he was too busy. He would listen to me go on and on about bad relationship. He is supportive. He works very hard.

Doesn't that just make you want to go out and do all of those things with your kids today!!  Contrary to popular belief, they don't need the very best of everything in life and we don't need hundreds of thousands of dollars to bring them joy . . . which is a relief.  But we all want to be good dads and the job is tough.  It is 24/7/365 so it catches us at our best, and at our worst.  But there is no greater joy than that of being a dad, it is an honorable title and one that I cherish. 

If you are looking for some Scriptures about being a dad and how you can improve in that arena, check out some of the thoughts of our men at Radius below when asked, "Where do you go in the Bible or what do you think of when asked about being a dad?"

Chris Seeby - Radius Lexington

I believe it is no coincidence that we share the title of Father with God Almighty.  He could have called us any other name, but he chose to honor us with this great title, Father. 

Brian Kirkland – Radius Lexington

Two passages quickly come to mind for me: 

Zephaniah 3:14-17 (especially v.17)... the imagery here of God our Father enjoying his children, rejoicing over us and singing songs over us is quite powerful, and I think about this often when I'm tucking in the kids at night and praying over them. We all love our kids a ton, and how amazing is it that our Heavenly Father loves us even more!

Psalm 78:1-7 (especially 4-7)... the older I get the more I feel the weight of teaching my kids about what God has done for us. This passage reminds me that as we instruct our kids to put their hope in the Lord, we're actually impacting not just them, but multiple generations for the Kingdom.

Stuart Fuller – Radius Greenville

I.I think about shepherding from John 10, specifically v4

The sheep follow him because they recognize his voice.

In a sense I think of my role as a father is to be a voice in their lives that is for them, and (at this stage) is the deepest, truest voice of reality.  My hope is that my girls begin to turn down my voice as the father and listen to the voice of the Father...and that the transition to me to Him will be relatively seamless b/c I've lived His Word as an under-shepherd. 

II. I also think about Jesus in the temple at 12 (Luke 2)

I won't so badly to hear my girls say to me "you should have known that I would be doing what God wanted me to do...and not just following you, sissy."  Ok, not the sissy part.  I long for them to become independent of me and dependent on God.  As a father, it challenges me to ask the question "Am I making disciples of me....or of Jesus?"

III. Last one--- I imagine Paul kind of looked at the church at Ephesus as his kids...check this from ephesians 3.16:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

If I had boys, I'd be picking some obscure OT passage about goin gangsta like Exodus 2:11-12, or 2 Kings 2:23-24, or Deut 25:11-12). 

But, since I have girls, I think my role is to make them feel precious and priceless and worth dying for.  So this verse gives me courage and reminds me to inject them with the beauty of being loved in spite of the knowledge of this world that says you have to be a skanktified, insecure, superficial, shell of a person in order to survive. 

Pete Murphy – Radius Lexington

Cool question.....and one that was recently discussed with some of the guys. We were talking about how God goes about the process of conforming us into the image of His Son. It's different for everybody. In my life it was getting married and then each child.....especially Hannah. I was self-centered, selfish, and prideful when Christ tackled me. With each addition to my family He chipped away and my selfish nasty self. It was these verses (I understand the context is not family.....but it is my story):

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

but made himself nothing, taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on

a cross!  Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  PHIL 2:2-11

SERVING my family has been my greatest joy and brought me better understanding of my Father's love and sacrifice.

On Mother's Day, we took 200 envelopes, each stuffed with a $50 bill, and randomly handed them out to students and adults at Radius Church.  We asked them to take this money and go do something nice for someone else in their radius.  Jesus once said that even giving a cup of water to someone in his name would definitely be rewarded by him, so we thought $50 bucks would be even better!  I am putting out this blog to point you to some of the stories that are happening here in our Radius as a result of this simple gesture.  I hope this concept catches on and more and more churches take money out of their coffers and give it back to the 'priests' that sit in their chairs/pews so that these priests can catalyze a million good deeds done for people all around the world in Jesus' Name, as it is written in 1 Peter 2:12, "Live such good lives among the non-believers, that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us."  Click on the Mother's Day Graphic to link over to the stories page, where our members are writing down their $50 God stories as they happen . . and try this out at your church as well, it is a blast.

Just read this article on CNN.com about God being a sports fan, or athletes using God for their purposes . . . . Anyway, there were just questions about all the praying, pointing to the heavens and thanking Jesus after victories on sports fields, so the question arose, "Is God a sports fan?"  The answer is obvious - of course He's a sports fan!  It is his creation playing the sports, after all.  But here is the caveat.  From God's perspective the old adage is true, it really doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game!  God loves honesty, hard work, great effort, fairness, honor and humility, while He hates lying, cheating, laziness, arrogance and pride.  So in sports competitions, God is definitely a fan and I am sure it brings Him joy to see his creation enjoying their God-given abilities, but He keeps score based on the characteristics listed above . . . and there are no extra points for pointing to the heavens or bowing for a prayer after a TD.  If I read my Bible correctly, extra points would be in play if the cornerback who got beat for the game-winning touchdown bowed to thank God for the opportunity to play the game in his locker room, outside the view of the TV cameras.  So enjoy sports, God does, but remember that He is not impressed by win-loss records. He is impressed by character and prayers offered when you aren't winning and the cameras aren't rolling . . . that is the real challenge!

This past Monday, the day following Mother's Day, 31,000 married women started new accounts at AshleyMadison.com.  What is that, you ask?  It is a dating website for married people who desire to 'discretely' find someone with whom to have a casual affair.  The website is pretty popular and touts as its slogan, "Life is short, have an affair."  As part of its marketing, it offers racy videos extolling the excitement and sexual pleasure to be found in affairs (though the people in the videos are paid professionals shooting a commercial, not actual people in affairs, and notably missing from the videos are crying and rage-filled children who just found out their mom is sleeping with another man and now their family is splitting up!). 

But here's the deal . . . why did 31,000 women sign up the day after Mother's Day, as a normal Monday would only register 3,000 new married women?  I think it is because 31,000 men are cruisin' through life, working too much and playing golf with their buddies while they take their wives for granted.  They don't honor and esteem them as wives and mothers and mistakenly assume they will be ok with that.  These ladies didn't go to an altar and sign up to be casual, sexual roommates for the next 50 years!  They expect and NEED romance, honor, words of kindness and adventure in their marital relationship.  And if they don't get it at home, they will usually persevere for several years, maybe even a decade, but eventually many of them cave in to slick marketing and silver tongues, which is even easier now that you can do it via the internet for only $249 plus tax.  I've seen it happen more times than I care to recall . . . .

What I found significant, though, is this spike the day following Mother's Day.  I interpret it to mean that many married women are tired and bored and feel that they don't get the romance, respect and recognition they deserve for the honorable tasks they fulfill as wives and moms, not even on Mother's Day!  They are so desperate, in fact, they are now willing to turn to adultery as the primary means to their happiness in life!  Let me ask you something - do you know of any bubbly, happy adulterers in your circle of friends?  Anyone remember Mark Sanford, Tiger Woods, John Edwards or Brittany Spears at the height of their sexual escapades?  Were they dancing around in joy or looking like someone that hadn't slept in weeks because of their shame and guilt?

But if you carefully take note of the marketing spin they put on it, it is really not about the sex, but rather about women desperately seeking someone who will esteem and cherish them for their instrinsic value, which they obviously didn't receive on Mother's Day.  So thousands of ladies go to this website daily seeking to find the very best of the lying, cheating homewrecking men registered on the site, only to find narcissistic men adept at using their silver tongues to say all the right things on the way to the bedroom filled with forbidden fruit - the ultimate bait and switch.

So men, let this post put you on notice!  YOU MUST PROTECT YOUR HOUSE!  I am not talking about protecting it against robbers or thieves or things of that nature, you must protect it from rust, neglect, apathy, ingratitude and lack of romance.  If you allow these things to infiltrate your marriage, don't be surprised to find your wife joining the more than 5 million deceived seekers on ashleymadison.com.

Finally, let me say this.  If you are a man or a woman that has believed the lie that real joy is found in adultery, and you have gone for it and had that affair, I want you to know that there is a path out of the guilt and shame you feel.  Jesus is not done with you and He will gladly forgive and accept you if you are ready to walk away from this deceit.  Our church is here to help you with that and thousands of other churches stand ready to help you as well, not condemn you.  This post is written as a stern warning to those who haven't crossed that line yet, but let it be to you an open invitation to overcome this destructive force in your life through the power of Jesus and the support of His Church.  For help, feel free to write to contact us confidentially at radius@radiuschurch.com.

Did you see the video of the young man being tazed at the Phillies game a few days ago?  He was a 17 year-old guy who decided to do the whole "run the field thing" and security got tired of giving chase and tazed him, at which point he fell like a ton of bricks, much to the delight of everyone in the world, except perhaps his mother.  Anyway, I felt like it was a good joke with a good ending.  Seventeen year-old boys are supposed to do risky, irrational things like this.  It is all the testosterone!  It has nowhere else to go, so sometimes it just spills out in the weirdest places.  However, testosterone surges are also SUPPOSED to be met with a taser gun or the equivalent as well.  That is where the whole thing breaks down in our society.

If our society would simply consider this tazing on national TV appropriate punishment for this young man's testosterone surge, I think everyone would be better off.  The young man would realize that there is cause and effect in our universe and if you want to BE THE MAN, you are eventually going to get tazed by the MAN.  Even knowing that, some 17 year-olds are willing to pay that price and we should let them . . . some young men only learn by painful experiences.  For others, just seeing him fall like a jello castle is more than enough to deter them from copy cat performances, as I am sure he was looking for a litter box about the time those electrodes hit him in the back.  

However, our society will not function that way.  Lawyers will line up to sue the Phillies, the security firm, the taser manufacturers, the artificial turf manufacturers, the 20 fans around him who could have stopped him from going over the wall, the Coke manufacturers who had too much caffeine in his drink, etc., etc. ad infinitum.  And they will get some type of settlement that will encourage this young man's continued immaturity and the immaturity of countless others.  That is how it works today and that is why we can no longer produce men in our society, only very large boys - boys who can't overcome their boyish desires, testosterone impulses and selfish cravings for the greater good of their wives, their children, and their communities. 

So don't get me wrong.  I like the young man's moxie.  He obviously has the courage to take risks and do the things others are afraid to do, which are both great qualities for young men.  But if those traits are not 'tazed' into a more productive channel, he will just become a large, immature boy and we already have plenty of those.  But through the appropriate use of tasers and mentors and other authority figures, he could channel his courage and moxie into more productive pursuits.  That is how a boy becomes a man. 

I remember one of my early, risky testosterone rushes.  I was 16 years old and got into my first real adolescent fist fight.  Growing up in a tough, blue collar town, fist fights were a proving ground for all young men.  At that time, I had a very quick tongue and I was pretty good at using it.  To make a long story short, I was used to talking a big game and scaring off most of the competition before the punches started.  In this one particular instance, though, talking wasn't enough for my ego.  So after all the normal mouthing, I gathered myself and delivered my best punch to the left eye of an offensive lineman from an opposing high school in the bank parking lot, arrogantly thinking that would begin and end the fight.  Well, that night I got 'tased', so to speak.  The lineman actually hit me back!!  The nerve of the guy.  We rolled around on the asphalt for a minute or less and when all was said and done, I had a bleeding gash under my eye.  I showed off the battle wound for a while and tried to spin my loss into a victory, arriving home around midnight. 

When my 'cut man' (i.e. my father) checked me out, he decided to take me in for stitches, 5 or 6 of them.  I will never forget his words of fatherly advice that night, which he said while he laughed - "I knew that smart mouth of yours was eventually going to catch up to you."  He was exactly right.  He wasn't blaming the other kid, the people around us or anyone else.  He knew this was a foolish testosterone surge on my part and he knew it was going to be a great lesson in my life, which it was.  I learned a lot about cause and effect that night.  I also learned a lot about arrogance and the quick hands of offensive linemen.  But most importantly, I learned that a boy becomes a man when he can channel that inherent energy and drive to conquer into something a lot more noble and meaningful than running around a baseball field or stroking your ego by attempting to dominate others.  Those boyish pursuits come at a high cost, so if you decide to go that route and pursue those things, I hope they TAZE YOU BRO.  It worked for me and it will work for you as well.

"Spare the taser, spoil the child" - somewhere in the Apocrypha I think . . .

What do you think of when you think of Christianity? or The Gospel?  Do you automatically think of something that is good, something that is liberating, something that adds value and meaning to your life, OR do you think of a long set of religious rules?  That is the ultimate question in our society today because we live in a 'post-christian' culture, a culture where Christianity ruled for a long period of time but now it is on the way out.

But here is the crux of the matter . . . the very word 'Gospel' is a Latin term meaning Good News.  The Gospel, the central message of Jesus and thus the central message of Christianity, is a message of Good News, not one of religious rules.  The message is that Jesus, the very son of God, came from heaven to earth in order to give his life as an offering, paying the penalty for the sins of all men.  He did this 2,000 years ago and then rose from the dead, conquering death.  All a person has to do in order to receive this forgiveness and power over death is to choose to believe in Jesus' death and resurrection and choose to follow him, which means to live according to His teachings.  Those who do this can have their sins totally and freely forgiven.  Now that is good news if you are like me and have a huge pile of sins in your life, and even now can't do live perfectly for even one day so the pile continues to grow. 

However, the vast majority of our culture views The Gospel and The Church as a place of religious rules.  They see the Church as a place of "do this and this, don't do this, or this, or that, etc., etc.".  In other words, they look straight past the Good News of the Gospel and see only the demanding teachings of Jesus.  Now Jesus was a very demanding teacher.  If anyone tells you differently, they are lying to you.  He said things like love your neighbor, love your enemy, live generously, never seek vengeance, rejoice when you are persecuted and excluded, etc., etc.  His commands are definitely stringent.  But what was/is the purpose of these commands?  Are they put there to burden us, or are they put there to bless us?  Are they just religious rules or are they the very paths to joy and abundance in this life?  That is the question we need to be asking when we see Jesus or the Church as just a set of religous rules.

I would argue that the very difficult commands that Jesus laid out for us are there because they are the path to a joyful and abundant life.  Greed is easier than generosity on the front end, but generosity is the path to joy while greed leads to discontentment and misery.  Sleeping around in today's world is very easy and cavalier and obviously brings some sporadic joy, but sexual purity brings a deeper lasting joy that lasts for decades, not minutes, and brings physical and emotional health to the children born out of purity and fidelity.   Honesty is better than deceit and commitment better than individualism.  The list goes on and on.

I am now 40 years old and I spent the first 21 years of my life viewing Jesus as a set of religious rules I couldn't follow, so I made up my own set of rules and lived by those (well, I lived by them most of the time, except when it was advantageous to break them).  There was some joy in that "life by my own rules", but the carnage and pain that it brought to me and all the people around me was immense in comparison to the fleeting moments of fun.  Then, when I was 21, I saw the Gospel as good news for the very first time.  My sins were killing my conscience and my future and taking over my life through addiction and meaninglessness in life.  And it was there, in that moment, when I heard that in spite of all past failures Jesus would come inside my life and liberate me if I would only commit myself to him.  It was good news indeed.  I didn't worry about the rules, I just needed the freedom, the liberation from addiction, from fear of death, from a narcissistic existence that looked really cool on the outside but in reality was very lonely and miserable.  Following that decision, I immersed myself in the rules of Jesus, but I never viewed them as overbearing or burdensome, but rather as the means and the path to freedom, as I still do today. 

If you view Jesus as a mere set of rules, you have never seen him for who he really is, a great liberator.  Got Freedom?

The picture to the left was taken from a story (read it here) about 6 Somali pirates in this tiny little boat firing on that Navy Destroyer!!!  Of course, the Destroyer immediately returned fire with laser precision and destroyed the boat, setting it ablaze, which caused the 6 pirates to jump into the ocean 330 miles from the coast.  The Navy boys then went and plucked them out of the sea, cuffed them and now get to decide what to do with them.  As I saw the pic, I was just trying to figure out what kind of arrogance, or ignorance, or hopelessness would cause 6 simple pirates with small caliber weapons to take on a Navy Destroyer?  Any of the three motivations could be the culprit, but it would take a major dose of any of them to do such a thing, since it was hopeless mission for them.

And this led me to a deeper thought.  This is exactly how it looks from heaven when mere men choose to pick a fight with God.  A simple piece of dirt looking up at the Creator of the universe and firing a BB gun at the Commander in Chief of the heavenly armies, which unfortunately happens all the time.  God says do 'A', and we reply, "I don't want to do 'A', that is not how I am designed and that is too stringent, I choose to do 'B'."  So we drive around on our skiff and fire our BB guns at the commands of God and they bounce off without causing so much as a scratch, but we feel justified in doing it.  Eventually, however, we fire one round too many at God and He has to unload a laser guided shell in our direction, just as the Navy ship did here.  But here is the difference - His intention in firing the shell is not to destroy us, but rather to discipline us, to get our attention.  As a Heavenly Father, He is more than happy to destroy our little boat and disable our weak weapons (i.e. our arguments against His commands) so that He can lovingly come and pluck us from the waters of destruction and display to us His kindness.  For it is the goodness of God that leads men to turn and love Him.  However, some people don't give up so easy and even after this display of love they continue to fight against Him and refuse to surrender to Him.  For these, there is no hope and no forgiveness, only justice.  But for those who embrace God and finally submit, even if it took a great battle to get to the point of surrender, there is hope, forgiveness and adoption into God's family.

Some of the best advice I have ever received was the following: If you ever find yourself in a wrestling match with God, the only way to win is to give up.

Jesus taught us that it is more blessed to give than to receive.  That is one of his 'core values', if you will.  But do we really believe that?  Can we really embrace this teaching?  I know we often give to others and give generously at times, but can we really believe it is more blessed to give?  I'll be the first to admit that it is difficult for me to hold on to this belief, but there is only one way to prove it is true, and that is to live it out. 

This past Sunday I shared with Radius how God has blessed us and provided us with a building that we can lease for services here in Lexington.  It is an awesome building in an awesome location and we praise God for it.  The only hurdle is that we need raise $50,000 to upfit the building by adding a sprinkler system, additional bathrooms, a stage, lighting, etc., etc.  So how do you raise that money and hold on to the core value that it is more blessed to give to others than to receive these things for yourself?  How do you live that out?  The crazy conclusion we came to is that we would need to give away half of all this capital to other churches and ministries.  So instead of needing to raise $50,000 for upfit, we now need to raise $100,000 so that we can use 50K for upfit and give the other 50K to other churches!  That's crazy, but it is a good kind of crazy because it forces us to trust in the promises of God more than our own strategies or buildings or capital.

I unveiled this idea to our congregation yesterday and already we have taken in $25,000 towards our goal of $100,000.  And you know what was great about this initial surge of donations?  It really was more blessed to give than to receive!  I was naturally excited about us getting $12,500 of this for our upfit, but I was much more excited to call Kenny Kelley of Refuge Church in Chapin and tell him that we were going to be blessing him with several thousand dollars this week out of our upfit fund.

Paul once told the Corinthian church, "If we are out of our minds, it is for the sake of Christ!"  I claim that verse for Radius church and I can't wait to live it out.

Yea, Banal is an SAT word.  The definition is "devoid of freshness or originality; trite."  As I was reviewing some recent tweets from some people I follow, this is the word that jumped into my mind.  I mean, here I was, reading about a guy taking his kids to ball practice, another watching the sunrise, etc., etc.  Now those are not bad things, but it just occurred to me how trivial and trite it all was, and then I realized that 100's of people are reading the same thing!

So then I start thinking, what does the whole idea of twitter say about our society?  What are the larger implications?  I am not willing to die on any of these hills, but I have a few initial thoughts about this.  First of all, I think it surely says that we are now an oral society, not a literate one.  Of course, the vast majority of Americans can read, so by definition they are literate, but the vast majority also chooses not to read, so we are an oral society.  Tweets about our friends and others are about 20 words long and that is generally enough reading for us.  Secondly, I think it says that we are generally more inclined to living our lives through other people rather than taking the risks necessary to actually live our own life.  In other words, we are fascinated by the simple and mundane statements of others and we like to "live" through them instead of focusing our energy on living ourselves.  Finally, I think it fuels our propensity towards marketing and self-promotion.  The way we craft our facebook pages (especially the photos), the way we tweet only about the 'cool' stuff we are doing (often exaggerated), it paints a picture of ourself that is not real.  And the real danger in that is not that others wind up with a false image of who we are (though that happens), but even worse is that we end up with a false image of who we are.  Then we have to go out into real life and try to live up the false image we have portrayed in the cyber world, which is emotionally taxing and ultimately impossible.

So what is the answer to this dilemma?  Do I post a pic of myself on facebook first thing in the morning so everyone can see my bedhead and wrinkly face?  Do I tweet about how I just lost my temper and yelled at my kids or how I was just blown off by a person I wanted to ask out?  Do I go out in the back yard and put the sledge-o-matic on my laptop?  Probably not, but at the least we need to realize that the people and lives we see lived out on facebook and twitter are not real, they are just carefully selected marketing schemes.  Therefore, we don't need to hold those up as models and try to either live through them or get depressed because our lives seem so mundane in comparison to them.  And most importantly, we need to live in real relationships with real people and not try to do life in 20 word tweets.  I guarantee that will not work in your marriage, with your kids or with other relationships, so train yourself to relate to others by, surprise, relating to others.  Don't sit home with your laptop and tweet and fb all night, go hang out with friends and neighbors and work on your face to face skills, not your fb skills.  Those are the ones you need in life and those are the ones you need in ministry.

But Todd, isn't this the ultimate hypocrisy, as you are active on both facebook and twitter?  No, I am not saying they are evil and we should not use them.  I am simply saying they have sprung up in our society and have given us an outlet whereby we can bypass real relationships and yet not feel so isolated and lonely, which is a dangerous thing.  I like the cyber world just like everyone else, but I constantly push myself to relate to individuals face to face and not just in the cyber world, and I encourage you to do the same.

This past Sunday I preached on the issue of pornography in our society (listen here).  As a part of that, I threw out some stats that are shocking and sad, yet true.

• Americans spend $12 billion annually . . . more than on pro basketball, baseball and football combined.
• Porn sites are 12 percent of all websites, 20% of men and 13% of women admit to viewing porn at work.
• 90% of children between the ages of 8 and 16 have already viewed porn online.
• #1 consumer of porn is boys ages 12-17.
• 10% (30 million in America) of adults ADMIT to pornography addiction, 28% of those adults (9 million) are women
• The average child sees porn for first time at age 11, usually inadvertantly on the internet.
• 20% of all teens have sent or received nude pictures of themselves or others.
• In 2002, of 1,351 pastors were surveyed by Christianity today and 54% said they had viewed Internet pornography within the last year, with 30% of those having visited these sites within the last 30 days.

Houston, we have a problem!  The clear majority of the next generation is being continually exposed to pornography and it is changing the way they think and the way they bond with the opposite sex.

The real danger of pornography is that it hijacks the normal bonding process that is supposed to happen in sexual encounters and it causes people to bond with sexual objects (porn stars), not real people.  Over time, those addicted to porn begin to view almost everyone as sexual objects to be judged primarily by their bodies alone, not judged as real people.  This objectification of the opposite sex carries over into marriage relationships and destroys them.

This is how it works.  When an individual watches pornography, they are not just a passive spectator of the sexual acts they are viewing.  On the contrary, they are active participants because their brains are projecting them into the sex acts as participants.  It is just like watching a horror movie.  During the scary scenes, our brains have projected us into the film as a participant and they send clear signals and chemicals to our bodies that cause us to be frightened and elevate our heart rate and blood pressure so that we could flee the perceived danger.  At that point, our brain is fooled into thinking we are a participant in the film and reacts accordingly.  The same thing is true when viewing pornography.  This means that, neurologically speaking, there is little difference between a person who watches pornography and the actual porn stars themselves, except for the risk of STD's and pregnancy to the porn stars. 

After our brain has repeated exposures to pornography and projects itself into the scenes as an actor, not a spectator, the brain is being taught how to act towards the opposite sex.  It is being taught to use people, not cherish them; to be rough and selfish in sex, not kind and affectionate; and ultimately to objectify all sexual partners and view them as a necessary means to sexual fulfillment, not real people with real needs.  The brain of the pornography viewer, just as the brain of the pornography actor, is being taught to look at all women (or men) as mere objects of sexual pleasure, not real people who have emotions, families, feelings, needs, hopes, aspirations, etc.  It is also being taught to compartmentalize sex as something that is done outside of a real relationship.  I mean, does anyone ever consider what it would be like to have a conversation about aging parents over breakfast with the porn star they view on the internet?  Of course not, but this is a critical skill in bringing intimacy into a marriage.

This objectification of other people is what 'hijacks' the normal bonding process inherent in sex between a man and a woman, and teaches the brain to bond with sexual objects, not real people.  This 'compartmentalization' of sexuality bleeds over into the marriage relationship and causes isolation, sexual dysfunction, impotence, loneliness, isolation and an inability to achieve true intimacy, which is what we all desire.

If you are struggling with pornography, I urge you to confess this addiciton to the spiritual authority in your life, whether that is your pastor or just a friend you know who really walks with God.  This addiction is so prevalent in our society, but it can be overcome through the power of Jesus and living in His community, the local church.

For more info, I recommend www.porntopurity.com or the newly released book, Wired for Initimacy. How pornography hijacks the male brain by William M. Struthers.

Somehow, someway, conversion has become a bad word in our culture.  "We aren't into converting people" is a very cool mantra, it's just not biblical.  Paul used the word often in the New Testament, as here in Romans 16:5, "Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first CONVERT to Christ in the province of Asia."  In the spiritual realm, conversion is simply the act of becoming something new, which is exactly what Jesus promises when he says that repentence and belief lead to regeneration, or being made new.  So I am very into converting people.  I am into seeing people have allegience to this world and change their allegience to Jesus and be converted.  I am into people being converted from the worship of other gods to the worship of the one, true God - Jesus. 

But many 'emergent' believers like to back off the whole concept of conversion because this is what gets us into trouble.  I remember traveling to India years ago to the city of Hyderabad.  We arrived one week after a local evangelical pastor had been killed by Hindu fundamentalists.  It was interesting because in this particular area there was a majority population of Hindus, then a large minority population of Muslims (about 30%), then a small minority of Catholic Christians (1-2%), and just a smattering of Evangelical Christians well below 1%.  So why was the evangelical pastor targeted by the Hindu extremist and not the Muslims or the Catholics?  It is simple . . . he worked to convert Hindus (and Muslims for that matter) to Evangelical Christianity, he considered this to be his duty and his delight.  Muslims, on the other hand, had no interest in converting Hindus to Islam, and Hindus had no interest in converting the Muslims to Hinduism.  As for the Catholic Christians, more often than not, they were also content to simply minister to the needs of historically Catholic families in the area.  But the very word 'evangelical' means one who is active in evangelizing, which means to verbally speak the good news about Jesus and exhort others to be 'converted' from whatever they currently are into a devoted follower of Jesus. 

This is the part of our faith that gets us into trouble and distinguishes us from other religions which are content to sustain themselves by simple biological growth rather than through conversion growth.  But our marching orders are different, for Jesus said go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every living creature and ask them to follow Me at all cost, and it often cost a lot.  I just read this article about one of our brothers and his 15 year old daughter in Egypt (pictured above).  He is currently living on the run and being persecuted for converting from Islam into Christianity.  Amazingly enough, in Egypt one can legally convert from Christianity into Islam in one week, but it is ILLEGAL to convert from Islam into Christianity, period.  This is a big deal because your religion is stamped into your passport and it determines whom you can marry, where you can worship, where you can study and where you will be buried.  Nevertheless, even in such harsh conditions, it is our duty to convert all men into worshipers of Jesus.  Actually, it is not our duty, it is our delight, as nothing is more energizing than seeing one more human being receive total forgiveness through Jesus.  So let's pursue the conversion of all men at all cost, it is our delight.

I was talking to a good friend of mine recently who is on staff with FCA.  As we were talking about our spiritual journeys, he brought up the fact that we often teach people to simply be better Christians instead of teaching them to actually know God.  But wait a minute, aren't those the same things??  That is the question and the issue at hand.  As we talked, I saw the dichotomy.  We can just teach people to be "better" Christians by doing more stuff for God - giving more, praying more, reading more, serving more, more, more, more.  Yet sometimes we are not teaching them to know God.  Maybe God wants them to rest, maybe God wants them to do something totally different.  I think there is a difference here that we have to address.  What we want is for people to know God, to be at peace with Him, to be comfortable with Him, to hear His still small voice in their lives and respond, but often we are content with people who will just do more in the name of 'spiritual growth', which may simply be spiritual activity. 

I know this sounds confusing, and parts of it are, but I would challenge you to contemplate it.  Are you working hard to actually know God better, or are you simply trying to be a 'better' Christian by doing more?  Let's not settle for simple activity, let's stretch out for a real relationship, which is a radically different thing from religious activity.